My tumblr is me. This will probably sound amazingly stupid, but oh well? I love my tumblr. (it’s quite funny how much i’m obsessed with my own tumblr) I believe it represents me almost entirely. It is what style I aim for, who I want to be, who I am, my darkness, what makes me enjoy life, and what my deepest feelings hidden in my archives lol
With that being said,
here goes my rant on how I’m completely different from this girl other than our names.
The basic facts:
1. we’re both art students
2. we both wear glasses
3. we’re both asian girls with black hair and glasses
4. we’re both the ‘cutesy’ type (although I don’t want to be lol)
5. we were both once attracted to the same guy at one point in time
6. our tumblrs are somewhat similar in style (although I love mine 100% more)
7. i’m guessing we’re both into cute, design oriented things
8. she’s slightly more asian ‘fob’ than I am, telling by the way she types, uses emoticons, and her tumblr reblogs
9. the only major component that defines our difference (in our tumblr) is i’m probably more into fashion than she is, and there is nothing dark about her. She seems quite happy, perky and cute. (how ideal for you twin! jks) Judging from her blog posts, she’s happy and thankful for things in her life, unlike me who complains and finds life more depressing than joyful. I want to be dark. I want to wear all black everyday (not that I don’t already). There’s a particular style I want to achieve, like everyone else on tumblr, I’d like to just pull the outfit out of my screen. Finding my style, becoming that ‘ideal’ of mine, is perhaps, a stronger desire than becoming an architect. (how sad lol) Fashion is that important to me? [what’s after I fulfil my goal though? what comes after? what do I even get from that?]
I think our tumblrs and style are quite different, so don’t you dare say we’re that similar twin! haha
This blogpost really isn’t going anywhere.
Why did I hate on her right from the start?
It was cause you made her sound so similar to me, like there’s a duplicate of me in Sydney. I was jealous. It was fun at first, but I’m pretty sure I took my feelings too far and let it control me a little. Like my twin, like everyone else, I like compliments and reassurance too. I enjoyed that. What was I jealous about? I can’t exactly pin point it but I don’t think it’s that important. It’s not something I should, or need, to think deeper into. I was jealous of your relationship with her, while she was so similar to me? (well we really aren’t that similar, i’m way cooler psh)
Twin, you’re my best friend and I don’t ever want to lose you and our relationship. You’ve always been there for me and listened to me go on and rant about life and everything. You’ve seen some of my pretty awkward and embarrassing moments, like when we first met. (ohgosh I don’t want to remember) You’ve seen some of my most depressing moments and you didn’t judge me nor give up on me. It means a lot to me, especially with my stupid trust issues and stupid friend push away skills lol You have motivated me, inspired me, helped me so much more than you know. I believe honesty and trust is (obviously) super important. I’m not going to let a moment of awkwardness and overthinking let my negative side push you away and let myself be weird.
Maybe, if we were both single, we would have gone out. (like in the story we made up lol) Who know if it would’ve lasted. I always felt like being honest was always the best, no matter how ugly it is, but maybe I’m wrong. Don’t you think we’re better suited as twinsies :)
If you hadn’t gone to Sydney I’m sure everything would be different, but I’m glad you went to Sydney, if not, then our friendship wouldn’t be as strong as it is now. You’ve honestly grown so much ..!! Not that I knew you well before, but for the years i’ve known you so far, you’ve grown to be much more independent, confident, and goodlooking ;) (here’s another confidence boost lol) You’ve found more of yourself, but you still get lost in your emotions (and mopey times like me #twinsies). We both don’t need these compliments to satisfy us or make us feel good. We’re better than that. We’ve actually been pretty mean to this girl (even though I barely know her), and I’m sure we both know it, but continued because it was fun (no harm in one sense) and ________ I don’t know. what is it. I don’t know about you, but I was pretty curious what would’ve happened if you stayed, and what it would be like if we really did like each other, but I don’t want to let my curiosity get to me. YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND. and my twin. and I hope it’ll always be like that. I wish you were here to hang out ! but then i’d probably have no friends cause I’d end up sticking to you and being more antisocial than I already am. :D
(I hope no one I know in real life ever reads this)